How to be a good wife and mother while working
Can you be a career woman and a mother? Yes! It is absolutely possible to be a career woman and a mother at the same time. Many women successfully balance their professional ambitions with their roles as mothers. One of the biggest struggles that I faced as a career woman and mother was balance and flexibility.
As a teacher, there wasn’t much flexibility with my time and that is what I needed the most having after young children. After deciding to leave my teaching career, I knew it was not my aspiration to only be a stay at home mom and I used this time to pour into both my children and my budding business as a self care & productivity coach for working moms.
These are 3 of the biggest tips that I can share that have helped me in my journey of balancing career, a career driven spouse, children, and my self care needs.
This pops up a lot being a mom with ambitions. Depending on you goals, whether it’s working in a workplace, working from home, or if you’re creating and growing a business for yourself, flexibility is key in all of these scenarios. You have to know what your priorities are, what are your non-negotiables, and what your vision is. Knowing your priorities will help you identify your main focus so that you can be productive with the time you have. You also have to know that as a mom, things will come up that will shift your priorities and when this happens, you need to be flexible and not hard on yourself.
Give yourself grace and let go of the desire to control it. Know that the tasks will get done, it will just at times require that you change your timeline, alter your expectations, and ask for help when you need to.
Having a mind of flexibility is essential as a working mom which can help you balance your career and parenting responsibilities.
You must also know what are your non-negotiables and your vision as a working mom. Ask yourself these 7 questions:
What are my core values for my career and family? Consider what principles and beliefs are most important to you in both your career and family life.
What kind of relationship do I want to have with my children? Envision the level of involvement and connection you desire with your kids, considering the age of your children as well.
What boundaries do I need to set for both my career and my family? Determine the limits you need to establish to balance work and family effectively.
What are my career goals? Define your ambitions and the level of success you’re striving for in your professional journey.
What activities with my children are non-negotiable? Identify specific activities or moments with your children that you consider essential and are not willing to miss out on. When you can identify these things, it will guide your career plans and how being a working mom will look for you as well.
What self-care practices are essential for me? Pinpoint things you can do to nurture yourself in all aspects of your life for maintaining your well-being.
What support do I need? Moms don’t always want to ask for help, but learning to ask for help will be a huge piece of your success balancing motherhood, personal life, and your career. Think about your support systems, whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or others in your professional circle. Think about what supports you need from these groups that help you with your goals of balancing both your roles in motherhood and your career.
If you answer these questions thoughtfully, you’ll be able to identify your non-negotiables. This can guide your decisions, actions, and boundaries and help you create a fulfilling life where you pursue your ambitions while being the present and engaged mom you aspire to be.
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Taking care of yourself is critical to your success balancing motherhood and career. Prioritize your self-care to maintain your well-being, energy, and resilience. Self-care is crucial for ambitious working moms who are aiming for success while you’re also juggling multiple responsibilities. It can be challenging, especially when you’re navigating a busy life with career aspirations, family duties, and a partner with their own career ambitions too, but remember- your self care is necessary, not selfish.
Recharge and Rejuvenate
Self-care also allows you to recharge your energy and rejuvenate your spirit. A well-rested and emotionally balanced you can tackle challenges more effectively. Regular self-care ensures you can sustain your ambition over the long term. Burnout can hinder progress, while self-care nurtures your ability to consistently work towards your goals.
Model Self Care for Your Kids
When you engage in self care, you are howing your kids how to practice self care. It teaches your children valuable the lesson about balancing ambition, family, and well-being. This will set them up for a holistic approach to life. It will also teach them at an early age how to manage stressful times in their life, avoid feelings of overwhelm, and support their mental and emotional health.
Clear Mindset: Self-care helps maintain mental clarity and focus, which is crucial for setting and achieving career goals amidst a busy life.
Managing Stress: The demands of work, family, and personal growth can be stressful. Self-care tools, like relaxation techniques and hobbies, alleviate stress and enhance your resilience.
Setting Realistic Expectations
It’s important to recognize that you might not be able to excel in every area all the time-at the same time. Strive for balance and focus your energy on one thing rather than trying to make everything “appear” perfect and keeping up with the quantity of ” how many” things you checked off the list. It doesn’t really matter what you accomplished if it doesn’t align with your core goals- your family, career, and self care.
If you do this, you will find that you can thrive in the many roles you have as mom, career woman, partner, friend, daughter and more- Efficiency will always be more important than quantity.
Being open to unexpected changes and being able to adapt in your approach can help you move through the challenges that will come with juggling both roles. You will be able to do it with resilience. However, control is not your friend when you are setting realistic expectations for motherhood and being a working mom. Effective time management and productivity skills are crucial as well.
Prioritizing tasks, setting boundaries, and delegating where it’s possible, can help you make the most of your time.
You should also keep in mind that having clear communication with the people who are involved in supporting your goals of being a working mom matters. Clearly and regularly talk about your needs and expectations with your support systems.
Let them know your work commitments so that they understand and are aware of your priorities and your time sensitivity, when you have moments of increased work demands. However, be sure to follow up this time with sustained time, quality time with you family too.
Remember that you can be both a dedicated career woman and a loving, present mother. It’s just about being open to flexibility instead of control, setting realistic expectations for your goals- both with your family and career, and always devoting time to nurturing yourself in all aspects of you life through self care. It will lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life, without the burnout and mommy guilt.
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